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My MY BLACKBERRY IS NOT WORKING! – The One Ronnie – BBC One
TRANSCRIPT

Ronnie Corbett and Harry Enfield star in this sketch from the BBC.
[Ronnie Corbett] I bought something from you last week and I’m very disappointed.

[Harry Enfield]
 Oh, yeah, what’s the problem?

[Ronnie Corbett] 
Yeah, well, my blackberry is not working!

[Harry Enfield]
 What’s the matter, it run out of juice?

[Ronnie Corbett] 
No, no, it’s completely frozen!

[Harry Enfield] 
Oh, yeah, I can see that. I’ll tell you what, let’s try it on Orange.

[Ronnie Corbett]
 That’s got a few black spots – you see!

[Harry Enfield]
 Oh, dear! Yeah, sorry about that.

[Ronnie Corbett]
 Well, is there anything I can do to get my blackberry working?

[Harry Enfield] 
Well, could be an application issue. Where do you store the blackberry?

[Ronnie Corbett]
 Well, it’s on my desktop.

[Harry Enfield]
 Well you could try using a mouse to drag the blackberry to the trash. Then after you’ve done that you might want to launch the blackberry from the desktop.

[Ronnie Corbett]
 Well, I’ve already tried that a few times, all it did was mess up windows.

[Harry Enfield]
 Well it might be worth waiting a couple of weeks, they got the latest blackberrys coming in then.

[Ronnie Corbett]
 Well, could you give me a date?

[Harry Enfield]
 Certainly.

[Ronnie Corbett]
 Let me put that date in my diary.

[Harry Enfield]
 Anything else I can help you with?

[Ronnie Corbett] 
Yes, yes, I’ve also got a problem, to be honest, with my apple.

[Harry Enfield]
 Oooh, dear oh dear, that is an old apple, isn’t it? When did you buy it?

[Ronnie Corbett] 
Last week.

[Harry Enfield]
 Last week? They’ve brought out two new apples since then. What’s the problem with it?

[Ronnie Corbett]
 Well, I’m trying to put my dongle in it and it won’t fit.

[Harry Enfield]
 Oh yeah, and how big’s your dongle?

[Ronnie Corbett]
 Well, I don’t know much about these things but my wife’s seen a few dongles in her time and she says it’s a little bit on the small side.

[Harry Enfield]
 Well, I’m afraid there’s not a lot I can do about that. Tell you what, let me try booting it. No, it’s crashed. Anything else I can help you with?

[Ronnie Corbett]
 Well, funnily enough, yes. My grandson’s birthday is soon, you see. Now he’s already got an apple and a blackberry. I mean have you got anything else that he might just like?

[Harry Enfield] 
Well we’re doing a special on these. I mean I can’t make head or tail of them but the kids seem to like them. Eggs box..360 (£3.60)!